The BOLD (Own the Room)
Own the room. It’s advice I’ve heard. But how do you avoid the overbearing presence of Nora Desmond making her grand entrance in Sunset Boulevard?
Or, if you wish, the Carol Burnett version, the great Nora Desmond (she descends the stairs at moment 1:53).
Perhaps we need to rely instead on owning ourselves. Can we bring our authentic, brilliant selves to the room?
The Whisper (Own Yourself)
The conference is a once in a lifetime opportunity. The glittering stars of Maggie’s professional world are in attendance. Some are speaking and many are mingling in the hallways and hospitality suites.
Feeling excited and not a little nervous, Maggie maneuvers to the registration table, gives her name and receives her bag of swag.
“Maggie Chambers?”
She turns to see Camila Hendricks, world-renowned speaker, thought leader, glittering star, smiling broadly at her. Camila sits at the top of Maggie’s aspirational contact list–a person to meet.
“Yes. Hello,” is all she can manage.
“I’m so glad to run into you. I heard your presentation in Oslo but I missed my chance to speak with you. I’m hosting a gathering this evening and I’d love to have the chance to learn more about your study. Will you be able to attend?”
Camila Hendriks was present for her small presentation? Maggie attempts to suppress her gulp and accepts the invitation.
That evening, she makes her way to Camila’s suite. Standing in the quiet hallway, she squares her shoulders and prepares to enter. Advice from her mentor flits through her mind.
“Own the room.”
She can do this. She will exude confidence she doesn’t feel and hold her own. She will make them take notice of her.
Swinging the door open and peering into the room, she identifies several of the glittering stars. The guest list reads like the contributor’s credits in a top-flight journal.
“Oh, Maggie. You made it.” Camila winds her way past several conversation clusters and ushers Maggie to a circle speaking on the sofas. “Let me introduce you. Do you know Dr. Havers?”
One at a time, Maggie is introduced. Dr. Emile Havers, the thoroughly published research lead and department chair at a highly competitive university, smiles at her kindly. Next to him, Sasha Renfroe, the CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation, pauses in her debate with Carl Manners, bestselling author and thought leader. Marissa Clark, a notoriously effective lobbyist for their industry, casts a scrutinizing eye on Maggie.
How in the world will she own this room? Her façade of confidence begins to slump.
“Camila related her impression of your Oslo presentation. She was quite impressed.” Dr. Havers begin.
“And she is not easily impressed,” Marissa comments.
Maggie slides into an available chair, smiled to acknowledge the compliment and said, “It was a privilege to present those findings. The work has been so rewarding.”
The conversation unfolds, flowing naturally around the topics that they have in common and benefiting from the original and special perspectives of each of the participants. Maggie learns and she informs in turn, contributing that which only she knows.
As she observes the easy flow of the conversation, it occurs to her that her mentor’s well-intentioned advice was a little off the mark.
We need not, she realizes, try to own the room. We must, instead, own ourselves.
There is no room in this meeting of peers for posturing and posing. It is too difficult to pretend and project confidence into the void of the unknown space between people.
There is a need for honest contribution made by individuals who have discovered their strengths, made their contributions and learned the lessons from that work. This work of self-discovery, contribution and wisdom is the source of authentic confidence.
Do you know yourself? Have you invested yourself? Have you learned knowledge and wisdom? Are you curious about and open to the value of the amazing people around you? That is the source of authentic confidence.
Sasha leans forward and smiles. “I knew this conference would be worth the time.”
“More than you know.” Maggie agrees. “More than I even knew.”
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