The BOLD (Self Invest)
September is National Self-Care month. Whee. I prefer the term Self-Investment. I think there is quite enough guilt and regret tacked onto the current term, thank you very much. This week, I’ll be discussing why it makes sense to think about investment rather than care.
I’ve been running hard for the last two weeks setting the foundation for The Tell It Well Intensive in October. It’s been exhilarating, fun and fruitful. It has also been exhausting. I’ve been careful to build in moments of rest, refreshment and renewal. It makes me realize just how much the habits we build when we have ample time serve us when we are running a bit leaner.
It also has me thinking about the habits I want to build. It’s time to go back to the gym. How can I even think of adding one more thing? I can, because that thing will make all the other things so much easier.
The Whisper (Needed)
September is self-care month.
I think you would be hard-pressed to discover a phrase less likely to inspire self-care. When you hear self-care, what springs to mind? A landslide of broken New Year’s resolutions? The pile of feel-good books that are threatening to fall and block access to your favorite chair? The workout equipment gathering dust under your bed? The spa products that are hidden in the back of the linen closet? The mac and cheese you had for dinner?
Guilt. For most of us, the response to a call for self-care is guilt. Taking care of ourselves seems like a heavy burden that will overwhelm our already taxed schedules and sap our remaining energy.
I am calling for a linguistic revolution. What if, instead of saying self-care, we used the term self-investment instead? While self-care seems self-indulgent or even selfish, self-investment reminds us that we are engaging in activities of rest, renewal, nourishment and fitness in order to prepare for the challenges and opportunities we face when we make things happen in the world.
We all know that list—good night’s sleep, healthy diet, rigorous aerobic exercise, meditation, prayer, continuing education, a warm bath, soft music, yoga, a nap, looking into middle distance to rest our eyes, walking, time in nature, weight training, personal grooming and spa experiences, massage…are you exhausted yet? If we look at this list and think about adding all this to our already busy lives and our already frazzled minds, it is overwhelming.
Who has time for all these self-focused indulgences when the world is calling, our business is churning, our family is waiting, our dishes are dirty and social media needs to be convinced that our lives have meaning? No one.
However, if we tie an act of self-investment to a cherished outcome, it begins to feel meaningful enough to warrant time and energy.
I will turn off the blue lights, listen to soft music, take a warm bath and signal that it is time to go to bed so that when I wake up refreshed I can do my work in a fraction of the time it would take if my mind is fuzzy.
I will go for a walk in the park so that my body is resilient enough to respond when I need it.
I will meditate so that I have insight into how I think so that I can make stronger decisions with more certainty and can uncover bias that may be blocking me from taking actions that lead to my boldest goals.
I will, so that.
Some of the activities of self-investment are fun in and of themselves. Some are enjoyable after they are done. It doesn’t seem to matter. We often resist doing them.
If we like the activity and/or like the outcome, why do we resist? My friend Natasha Foreman of Lucid Living says, “That’s why we call it doing the work.” It still requires commitment and action.
Will changing one little word change that? I’m a big believer in the power of words. One little change sparks a shift in perspective, which makes something new possible. Using the term self-investment is about investing possibility with meaning and tying action to outcome. That is a potent chain of events.
How will you self-invest this week?
You might:
- Learn a new skill—invest in some playful learning to figure out how to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Learn to make fresh pasta. Figure out how to create watercolor clouds that look like clouds (not blue squiggles hanging menacingly above the horizon. No, that’s not a personal goal. Why do you ask?) Learn a new skill to open up new possibilities.
- Try a new treatment or experience a new relaxation opportunity. Is it time for the float tank? Is there a movement class you’ve been interested in trying. Have you had a massage? Try a new experience to refresh your body, clear your mind and discover a new favorite way to manage stress so you can go do meaningful, dangerous, stressful things without blowing out your biology.
- Sit and chill. Sit under a tree. Put down a mat if you don’t want to think about sitting on a bug. Bonus points if you take your shoes off and make an actual connection with the earth. Connect with nature so that you can remember your place in the universe—you are a teeny, tiny explosive miracle. Use that insight to fuel your revolution.
Make a deposit in your life today and grow your personal account. It really pays dividends.
There is nothing dreary, dolorous or dull about self-investment. I’d love to hear about your investments and about the dividends that they yield.
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