Checking In: A Simple Breathing Exercise for Stability

The BOLD (Can You Hear the Cicadas?)

August has arrived in all its steamy splendor.  Do you remember the Augusts of your childhood?  In the summer, I found myself in perpetual motion, running in the heat and chasing the cool.  We spent a lot of time out in the grass of our big backyard.  In the morning, we could drag tracks through the dew-wet grass with our sneakers.  In the evening, we chased fireflies.  Many days were spent at the pool, in the tang of chlorine-sanctified water.  Then, when it was all too much, we would retreat to the air-conditioned sanctuary of the public library.  In my memory, the water from the metal monster of a water fountain there was the coolest liquid I have ever enjoyed. 

In my childhood summers, my body and I were friends in a way that is easily forgotten in adulthood. For this month, we will discuss ways to refresh the body connection (which happens to be the second key in the Prospects of Possiblity™ framework).  This summer, check in with your body and remember that the connection between body, mind, and spirit is indelible—and extremely beneficial.

The Whisper (Just Breathe)

I received my coach training in Boulder, Colorado at a 28-year-old school called Newfield Network.  During our first week of classes, we received instruction on the work that we would do during the 4 months of distance learning that would transpire before our next in-person training.  As I scanned the paper in my hands my eye was snagged by one particularly unfamiliar assignment.

We were to perform a centering three times a day for at least three days a week.  A centering. I scanned my internal database for an entry that would begin to explain what that would entail.  I had nothing.    

Through trial and error, conversation and research, I was able to discover what I was “supposed” to do.  Centering, it seemed, was as simple as stopping what I was doing and observing what I was doing.  It was also as complicated as finding the center of myself at some elusive pivot point between the now and the eternal, the inside and the outside, the grand and the small.  It was utterly intimidating, a tad confusing and not a little bit obscure.  

There are versions of the practice of centering attached to the martial art Aikido, to religious teaching, to yoga, and to meditation. Many people had ideas about what it was but most of them could not produce an explanation, let alone some instructions.

One of the best definitions came recently from my friend Kelle Sparta.  She explained that the reason you practice grounding is to find the part of you that is truly stable so that when you are in motion and mechanical stability is impossible, you can connect to your real source of stability. I like that. Of course, at the time, I hadn’t even met Kelle so that explanation wasn’t available to me as I did my research.

I embarked on this journey to understand centering and I began with a simple exercise.  At the center of it all is our breathing. 

Our bodies have automatic systems over which we ordinarily have no influence.  Our blood pumps without our conscious control.  Our kidneys, our liver, our thyroid all function without our help. Even our heartbeats are part of a non-voluntary system.  

Some of our systems are mostly if not entirely up to us.  We move our feet to walk and lift our hands to clap.  There are some habits around those actions and some ways that we are conditioned to perform those tasks, but for the most part, the system is thought-action. 

Then there is our breathing.  All day long, whether we are paying attention or not, our breath is coming in.  Our diaphragm is expanding up and down to push the bellows of our lungs to suck in air and to expel it.  The blood vessels in our lungs cart off the oxygen we need and deposit the carbon dioxide that we don’t in a brilliant exchange accomplished with an efficiency that would make the Virginia Port Authority proud.  And all of this happens without our notice.

However, we can decide to breathe differently if we want. That system can go from automatic to voluntary on a dime.  We can hold our breath, vary the speed of our breathing, and direct our diaphragm to pull down more than it usually does to take in more air than we normally do.  We can take over our breathing, up to a point. As you may have discovered in a fit of pique when you were a child, when you deprive yourself of oxygen, you may reach a point when your body takes back control as you fall into unconsciousness. 

Our alarm system can also impact our rate of breathing.  We tend to breathe in quick, shallow breaths when frightened, alarmed or excited. This mechanism impedes communication and causes a problem for many speakers.  When our breath is shallow and fast the air is not sufficient to provide for words.  

By practicing our breathing, we begin to find one of the places at our center.  We can build muscle memory that can assist us when we begin to build a fear-induced oxygen deficit.  We can also find stillness in a frantic world.  

One of my favorite breathing exercises is square breathing.  It is a simple exploration of the four phases of breath and it can be performed just about anywhere.  The process is as follows:

Select a count for your exercise.  Four or five is a good place to start.  As you become more comfortable with the exercise, you can begin to increase the count.

• A Cadence: Select a count for your exercise.  Four or five is a good place to start.  As you become more comfortable with the exercise, you can begin to increase the count.
• A Good Seat: Find a comfortable position.  You want to be able to sit tall enough to not impede your lungs and to give your body room.  It is also helpful to be in a position that feels fully supported so that your attention will not be diverted from your breathing.
• Up One Side of the Square: Begin by breathing into your count.  Fill your lungs and attempt to match the airflow to the count.  Notice how well your lungs filled to the count.  Did the count give you adequate time to fill your lungs?  Were you straining to bring in more air at the end of the pull?  
• Across the Top: Now hold the breath here at the top for the count. Give your lungs a chance to make good use of the oxygen you have delivered.  Notice how this feels.  Are you impatient to let the air out?  It is a peaceful or anxious feeling?
• Down the Other Side: let out the breath to the same count.  Again, notice how the count and the experience line up.  Do you feel like that is any air left in your lungs at the bottom of the count?
• Across the Bottom of the Square: The final leg of the square is to hold that empty breath for the count.  This may be the most unfamiliar of the four stages of your breath.  We rarely sit with our lungs empty.  Notice how this feels.  
• And Again… Repeat the square a few times.  Each time, see if you can regulate the in and the out breath to accommodate your comfort on the holding sides of the square.  Notice how you feel.  

You can experiment with rectangle breathing by holding for one count and breathing for another.  For instance, 6-4-6-4 is a good way to begin to expand your practice from 4-4-4-4.  

Breathing is just one form of centering, but it is an excellent place to start.  It can help you access the breath you need when the time comes to communicate.  

Many of us live our lives from our neck up, inhabiting our brains but unaware of what the rest of us is doing.  A conscious practice of breathing can begin to create awareness.  

“You, allow me to introduce you.”

Give it a try and let me know what happens.  

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You may enjoy this three and a half minute breathing exercise which provides another way to explore centering through breathing.