The BOLD (Thank You In Advance)
Happy Thanksgiving (holiday laden with turkey and stuffing) to those in the United States. Happy thanks-giving (action of delivering thanks where they are due) to everyone everywhere.
I am grateful for you, gentle reader. This is the 26th week in a row that this inbox magazine has greeted you. That is 6 months for those who are grateful to not have to do the math. It is a joy for me to imagine you as I write each week. Thank you for spending the time with me and with the concepts and musings each week.
This week, we’re going to talk about the difference between transactional and anticipatory gratitude. Thank you, in advance, for considering the perspective I’m delivering.
Pass the gravy,
The Whisper (Gimme a Cookie)
“What do you say?”
Horace was tempted to deliver the thought that had flitted through his mind when his hands had received the cookie proffered by his somewhat intimidating aunt. However, he knew that, “It’s about time, woman.” was not the response for which his mother was fishing.
“Thank you, Aunt Cleo.” He replied sheepishly.
“You are welcome, Horace.”
Transaction complete. Transaction successful. Transaction less than satisfying.
Most of us were taught this simple transaction from the time we could speak. We are to give thanks when someone does something nice. The Thanksgiving holiday is a festival of this transaction. We are to give our thanks to the Almighty for a litany of blessings. Once a year. In rapid succession before we are allowed to dig into a plate of antique delicacies.
What we were not taught, for the most part, is to anticipate that we will feel grateful. The gift-thanks model leaves us keeping score and can lead us to focus on what is not happening.
The thanks-gift model is fueled by optimism, faith and a belief in abundance. When we anticipate that good things will happen and celebrate that notion, we move in joy and we help to generate the positive outcomes we crave. By delivering our thanks before the miracle, as author Ann Voskamp reminds us, we remember the good thing that hasn’t even happened yet.
What if, instead of just giving thanks, we marked thanks. We celebrated the moments of blessing and gift and benefit. Mark those moments and celebrate them to build a case for expecting good things to happen.
A friend told me a story once about a woman he knew who kept a three-ring binder stuffed with papers in her desk. He had asked her for prayer for a particular challenge and she had drawn out the binder and written in his need.
He became curious and asked her about the notebook. It seemed like an awfully big pile of requests.
She assured him that it was not a list of grievances. It was a journal of all the times it had worked out. Her list of prayers became a list of blessings and it was her source of optimism.
“When I get fearful,” she told him, “I refer to this exhaustive record of all the times that things got better, worked out. It is a miracle file.”
Say thank you. Give thanks. And keep a little bit of the thanks nearby, a residue and evidence that you can expect good things. Anticipate good things and celebrate what is to come.
Happy Thanks-marking.
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