The BOLD (Got Fear?)
If you aren’t feeling fear, you are probably not risking big enough consequences.
Of course, bad outcomes are as consequential as good ones. That is why fear is such a necessary part of any endeavor worth undertaking. We might fail. The consequences might be horrible.
The consequences might be wonderful beyond anything we can even imagine from our current perch of perspective.
Are you paying attention to your fear? It has a lot to teach you about what you value, about what you want, about what you don’t want, and about what is possible.
The Whisper (Got Wisdom?)
We know the quote. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is feeling fear and taking action anyway. Do a quick google search and you will find a stunning array of beautiful starry skies, sunsets, and seascapes emblazoned with a version of the quote. Attached will be a bevy of names—Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Bear Grylls, random bloggers–all credited with a version of the saying. I feel safe assuming that you’ve heard the quote at least once before.
Feel Fear. Take Action. Feel Courage.
It is a pretty simple prescription and it has merit. What is lost, though, if we simply power through the fear and never consult it?
Fear, like any emotion, is designed to impart information. It arrives with embedded data and it is intended to keep us safe. Fear triggers our system to respond with the unconscious mechanisms that ensure that we will fight, flee or freeze to evade a predator.
Fear also delivers an opportunity for a conscious choice. We can feel fear and choose to act in any number of ways. If we chose to act in spite of the fear, to pursue the course of action that we fear because we hope and believe that it will lead to outcomes we desire, we build the courage muscle. Stronger courage then allows us to take even bolder action and achieve even bolder ends.
How do we know the difference between a prowling mountain lion and a scary opportunity to present a proposal to a desirable client? Do we even know what is provoking our fear? By consulting our fear, we can see what it is telling us.
Fear is a warning that we may suffer a loss.
By paying attention to the threat, we can understand what form the danger of loss might take. By paying attention to our fear, we can learn what we value most. In any scary situation, there is a relationship between any real, tangible threat and any danger that is merely a result of a story we are telling ourselves.
A tiger appears. Are we afraid of losing our life, our livelihood or our mobility?
An audience waits to be addressed. Are we afraid of losing our reputation or our status?
The new trainer at the gym is waiting. Are we afraid of losing our comfort, our pleasure or our ease?
Once we have identified the kind of loss we are afraid we are going to incur, we can make a conscious decision to either take the risk or not. Often, the fear is out of proportion to the risk. Will we really die from embarrassment?
This is especially important for the kind of fear that lingers. Fear in the moment is a response. Fear over time starts to run the risk of becoming a lifestyle.
- Consult your fear.
- Determine any real threat.
- Uncover the story that you are telling yourself about the threat.
- Check in with your values.
- Make a choice to act in alignment with your deepest values. For instance, are you choosing safety or growth?
- Take action.
- Grow your courage muscle.
I’d love to hear about a time when you discovered that your fear delivered important information.
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