The BOLD (Fear Rules)
We love inspirational quotes. Scan your social feeds and you’ll find them peeking out like garnets in gneiss, peppering the landscape.
One quote changed my life. Eleanor Roosevelt’s encapsulated wisdom (quoted above) changed my perspective, impacted my behavior and shifted my outcomes. One quote changed my life because I decided to live it.
Fear is not an obstacle. It is a challenge. Creating a rule that says, “If I’m afraid, I must do it,” removes decision and indecision and opens up proactive possibilities.
The Whisper (Do)
The day was bright and sunny. Thousands of people gathered at the banks of the James River in downtown Richmond to celebrate extreme games—mud runs, overhead horizontal rock climbing, white water kayaking.
In a peaceful spot in front of the historic Tredegar Iron Works a troupe of talented athletes strung a length of webbed line between two trees. It was a 15 feet long by 3 inch wide (picture the strap of your seat belt) mesh of shiny synthetic fibers woven into a durable yet flexible fabric.
All afternoon, they performed feats of gravity-assisted flips, flops, and bounces. It was mesmerizing. (You can see what I mean here.)
Nearby, lines were forming at four lines strung about a foot above an inflatable landing pad. Eager 8 to 12-year-olds waited for their turn to try the slack line.
A few weeks before I had encountered Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote about fear. “You must do the thing you cannot do.” The prescription had struck me. “You must do.” Not should, might, could, will benefit from or consider. MUST DO.
I wondered what it would be like to live with a rule that said: “If I encounter an opportunity and I am afraid of it (and it won’t instantly kill me or land me in jail) I MUST do it.”
Living that way, I suspected, would lead me into a lot of exciting places. I wondered if it would be difficult and if I could bear the discomfort that would inevitably result from such behavior.
And here, right in front of me, was the first test of that new rule.
It was a ridiculous idea. In order to try this activity, I would have to stand in a line populated mostly by children in order to attempt to traverse a narrow, flexible seat belt that would undoubtedly flip me off onto my butt. It might be embarrassing. It might wound my pride—or my gluteus maximus. Or both.
It would not kill me and it was not illegal, therefore, I had to do it.
I tried several times and I was never able to go more than a few feet before I slipped, bounced or flew off the line. I laughed the whole time. It was thrilling and absurd and gratifying and oh-so-silly.
I didn’t die and I evaded arrest.
In the years since that tiny transformational moment, I have obeyed the rule. I’ve spoken in front of crowds. I’ve competed in speaking contests. I’ve won an archery competition. I’ve trained as a coach and built a business.
I didn’t die and I’ve evaded arrest.
Here’s what I’ve learned from this adventure.
- Courage is a muscle and it grows when you honor it and when you use it to respond to fear.
- Having a rule eliminates decision and indecision and allows you, in the moment of choice, to remember what you meant to do.
- Frightening is the costume that adventure wears to fool us into wandering off. Ignore the costume and follow adventure.
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