The BOLD (Someday, I will…)
She had a grand plan for how her life would change. Once she achieved the income in her career that she felt she needed to feel comfortable, she would start throwing the pottery that she loved. She made the promise to herself and devoted her focus to
She didn’t lack the equipment. Her kiln and wheel were set up in the garage, gathering dust. She didn’t lack knowledge. In her past, she had learned the skills and mastered the art. She didn’t lack time. How much Netflix and YouTube does one person really need to watch?
Somehow, the attempt at inspiration backfired. She struggled to invest herself in ways that increased her income. Pottery seemed farther away than ever.
My client’s brain suspected she was lying and it wasn’t taking any chances.
“Are You ready?” Klaus asked finally.
“No, Sunny answered.
Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator
“Me, neither,” Violet said, “but if we wait until we’re ready we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives. Let’s go.”
The Whisper (Someday is Now or It Will Never Be)
When we tempt ourselves with if/then promises, our brains become suspicious.
Take the example of the story above. My client (let’s call her Marla) had made herself a promise that if she attended to the work in front of her, she would reward herself with the work that she loves.
Here’s the problem. Marla’s brain is too smart for that bargain.
“If you can’t find time now to throw pots,” her brain asked, “how will you possibly find time once we are all successful and have even more demands on our time?”
It’s pretty hard to argue with that logic.
It makes sense to work first and earn our play. It makes sense to invest in the less-fun now to build capacity for the more-fun later. The problem comes when we completely defer meaningful projects, pursuits and self-investment until some unknown future time at the end of the struggle.
Our brains know that if we can’t find time to include what we love now we will build a life that has no time for that later.
In order to ensure that we are building a livable success, we must teach our brains that the risk is worth taking and that the work we enjoy will continue and will grow. It can only continue if you are already doing at least some form of it.
Invest in your future dreams by planting seeds now in order to inspire your suspicious brain to do all the work.
Ask yourself:
Future Dreams: When you imagine your ideal future, what are you doing? It could be something new that you want to learn or an older joy you want to revisit.
Current Space: Are there seeds in your current life that will grow those ideal life pursuits? Even baby steps (especially baby steps) count as you move from where to you are to where you would like to be.
The Ideal Now: What could you do right now to reassure your brain that you will find time later by finding time now? Find that baby step and commit to adding it now. Write three pages. Take a class. Carve out an hour on Saturday morning. Create moments of future ideal now.
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