The BOLD (Don’t You Just Love a Good Cycle?)
Do you every have a theme emerge in your life? You know, that offhand comment someone makes connects to the book you are reading and the article you saw online. And then two more people include it in conversations with you. This happened to me over the last two weeks. I read James Clear’s book, Atomic habits. In it, he talks about not just committing to doing an action but to becoming the sort of person who would, without a doubt, do that sort of action, make those sorts of choices and accomplish those sorts of ends. It is a powerful notion. Then, of course, it showed up in several conversations over the intervening days.
Our sense of identity determines what we believe is possible. What we believe is possible impacts what actions we are willing to take. The actions that we take determine our outcomes. Our outcomes demonstrate the person that we are. The person that we are is our identity.
The Whisper (I Am That Person)
You decide that you want something to be different—in your environment, in your resources, in your relationships, in your skills, in your accomplishments—and you set a goal. Now, in order to reach that goal, you will need to take actions.
How can you increase the likelihood that you will take those actions? How can you set yourself up to succeed at executing all the details? How can you overcome the objections that you might develop over time? I have no time for this. I can skip just this once. I’m bored with this.
Imagine the person who would, without fail, accomplish these tasks. Imagine that person doing it because there is no alternative because they never even considered not doing it. Imagine them enjoying the process, looking forward to the task and the outcome. Imagine them being known for doint this thing, carrying a reputation that this is what they do.
Now, that is the person you will need to be to do what you want to do. Right now, you aren’t living like that person, or you would already have the outcome.
What if the only difference between you and that person is a definition of identity?
Here is a process for revising your definition of identity and then inhabiting that revised persona.
- Determine what you would like to change.
- Determine your motivation for making the change. What will you enjoy if you change it and what would the negative consequences be if you didn’t change? Knowing the stakes and your motivation will help you build a compelling identity statement.
- Review your values and find the connection. Knowing how this change relates to the values that drive your behavior and that define your character will help you to connect your motivation powerfully to your foundation.
- What will you need to do in order to make this change? Will it take an action, a project, or a habit? What is your plan for achieving this goal? Knowing this will help you envision your revised identity.
- Create your revised identity statement
- What do you believe? You are a person who believes ___________. Here, you want to attach your motivation to your values.
- What kind of person are you? You are a person who _______. Fill in the blank with the actions that you will gracefully execute.
- What does it feel like to be that person? You are a person who feels _________. Your emotional set point will determine your mindset.
An Example:
- Determine what you would like to change: A messy work environment purged of clutter. Lulu has been feeling overwhelmed in her office. She is having trouble finding things and is feeling crowded as she works by clutter and piles of paper. She decides that she needs to be more disciplined about processing papers and putting away items before they become clutter. This is what she would like to change.
- Determine your motivation for change: Better working environment, more confidence and function. She realized that making this change will give her a boost of focus and will allow her to save time. She also knows that if she doesn’t make the change, her confidence will be impacted as she looks daily at the mess she has created.
- Review your values and find the connection. Being a good steward. Lulu values being responsible with the time and the resources that she has been given. Tying this value to her motivation will allow her to see how this lines up with the values that already form a good part of her identity.
- What will you need to do in order to make the change? A plan for today and moving forward. Lulu knows that she will need to set aside time to do a deep clean of the area to file the papers and put all the objects where they belong. This is a project. She also knows that in order to keep her area clean, she will need to have a system in place fo collecting and processing new paper and for cleaning up as she goes along.
- Create your revised identity statement. This is who Lulu is.
- What do you believe? Lulu wrote the following: I am a person who believes that I am a good steward of my gifts of time and resources. I believe that when my space is clean and organized, I am protecting my time and my gifts. I also believe that providing myself an orderly space is an essential act of self-investment.”
- What kind of person are you? She also wrote, “I am a person who files my papers once a day. I am a person who does not leave my desk for the day until it is tidy for the next day. I am a person who puts things away as soon as I am done with them. I am a person with a clean, orderly works space.”
- What does it feel like to be that person? And then she wrote, “I enjoy my clean workspace and it makes me feel capable and energized to do great work.”
So, what kind of person are you?
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