The BOLD (All the Feels)
Take a breath. Not a deep breath—that may actually signal to your system that you are in stress and may activate the systems designed to protect you. Take a breath and notice it. All day long, your lungs move air in and out without your attention or intention. This is one of your foundations.
This week has been stressful. We experienced a solstice, a change of seasons to remind us that time is marching forward. Wde witnessed a full moon that illuminated nights already plagued by sleep issues. We endured the onset of the body-confusing practice of daylight savings time. Here in the US, we are enduring an election that is highlighting our divisions and our uncertainty.
Uncertainty.
For the next few weeks, we’ll be exploring the idea of opening the gift of emotion. Uncertainty is not an emotion, but the presence of uncertainty can unleash a storm of sometimes conflicting emotions. Take the quote for today. It is rare to hear the word uncertainty and hope in the same sentence and yet as long as there is uncertainty, the worst has not come to pass and the best is still possible.
What emotions are you feeling as you face uncertainty? Every last one of those emotions has wisdom to share and it is important to harvest that wisdom. It is equally important to carefully decide which emotions will be permitted to influence your behavior.
Uncertainty is the refuge of hope.
Henri Frederic Amiel
The Whisper (Choose Wisely)
Uncertainty, and the emotions that accompany it, require just a few ingredients.
- There is a decision to be made. There is no uncertainty if no action is required. For instance, it doesn’t matter what is behind door one, two, or three if I’m not in a position to move from where I am. Uncertainty is only a pressure if I have to choose one of the mysterious doors to open.
- There is a distinct lack of data. In order for uncertainty to flourish, there must be a lack of information that would allow us to understand what is going to happen. The fact that there could be anything from a crumpled piece of paper to an elaborate death-dealing contraption behind each of the doors. I don’t have any way to know and my stress level will go up as I contemplate how I will make my decision.
- There is something at stake. In order for uncertainty to maintain it’s potency, there must be consequences for making the wrong choice, even if you don’t know what that choice is. If I know that all three doors open into the same room, uncertainty is diminished. My decision has less bearing on my future even if there is something to fear. In short, you must care for uncertainty to produce an emotional response.
This is why uncertainty can be unpleasant and can usher in feelings of fear, frustration, anxiety and even anger. It is also why it can signal that great opportunities are possible and can unleash courage, hope and creativity.
When I was researching the quote that I included above, I learned that Henri Frederic Amiel was a natural philosopher who lived in France in the late 19thcentury. He left a memoir that became influential after his death and in it I found this quote:
Do no violence to yourself, respect in yourself the oscillations of feeling. They are your life and your nature. One wiser than you ordained them. Do not abandon yourself altogether either to instinct or to will. Instinct is a siren, will a despot. Be neither the slave of your impulses and sensations of the moment, nor of an abstract and general plan; be open to what life brings from within and without, and welcome the unforeseen; but give to your life unity, and bring the unforeseen within the lines of your plan. Let what is natural in you raise itself to the level of the spiritual, and let the spiritual become more natural.
Aside from the dizzying use of semi-colons, this passage delivers wisdom for the kind of internal and external struggles many of us are facing right now. We don’t have to choose between our hearts and our brains, between our inner wisdom and external learning, between our inner guidance and outer circumstances. We can weave them all together.
Uncertainty, then, requires a balanced, harmonious response. Our resilience requires a structure where the opposing forces in internal and external resources and challenges are cantilevered against each other in a supportive way.
Listen to your heart and listen to the world and find the point of polarity between them.
Facing Uncertainty:
You can change up the recipe with your own ingredients:c
- Discover and nurture your choices: Find your genuine choices. These are the places where you have real work to do. In the overwhelm that uncertainty can bring, it is tempting to try to solve for everything, to take on all of the problems, and to fret. Distilling the list of concerns down to the actual, meaningful choices that you need to make can begin to reduce some of the overwhelm.
- Discover the data that is available: As I stated, uncertainty means that there is data missing. Even with this, it is possible to determine exactly what data is available. It is also important to reach back to your experience and the experience of others to strengthen your intuition.
- Discover your fall back position(s): Yes, it matters. But it may not be the only way. Determining your options for success means that you can respond with agility as the uncertainty clears. There is more than one way to succeed.
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