The BOLD (Cultivate and Expectation of Good Things)
It happens. An obstacle arrives. A disappointing outcome follows our efforts. How we approach such challenges has a lot to do with what we expect the results will be. By adopting a “Yes, and…” attitude and by assuming that things will probably work in our favor, we can access more
The Whisper (Assume the Best)
A few weeks ago, I had the tremdenous pleasure of staying at a gorgeous beach house with members of my Newfield Network coaching cohort. We gathered for our bi-annual retreat to catch up and to share what we’ve learned since our training.
As I relaxed and enjoyed the ocean view and the stimulating company of some of my favorite people, a tiny disaster began to brew. On Wednesday morning, as I skimmed my email, I discovered a disappointing message. The online travel site that had sold me a hotel reservation informed me that despite the confirmation I had been sent, the reservation had, in fact, been claimed 3 seconds quicker by another buyer. They expressed their regrets and informed me that I did not have a reservation for a room.
At the end of the beach week, I needed to move from the house to a hotel in order to participate in the Toastmasters District 66 conference, where I was to compete in the District International Speech Contest. I needed a room and now I did not have one. I also did not have a lot of time to make a reservation.
I searched online again using a different travel arrangements site. I found a room in the hotel where I had hoped to stay and the price appeared to be about $50 less than the reservation I had been denied.
Encouraged, I began to make the reservation. My fingers stilled over the keyboard as an idea occurred to me. On an impulse, I called the Hilton hotel directly. I asked for a reservation quote and the kind, efficient woman on the hotel line quoted me a price $17 dollars more expensive than the online deal I had found.
Despite feeling a bit sleazy, I informed her that I’d found a cheaper price.
“Is there any reason to book with your rather than online? For instance, will they charge me higher hidden fees?” I asked sheepishly.
“Oh,” she exclaimed, “It’s on that website? Let me just look it up.”
It turns out that Hilton hotels will match any price that you find online and then offer an additional 25% discount. I ended up getting the room for $100 less than my original, doomed online transaction.
(As a complete aside, I have discovered that many of the hotel chains are offering discounts and incentives to try to lure customers back from the travel sites. It is a good idea, it turns out, to contact them directly. Just a tip)
As I celebrated my savings, I remembered something that my husband had casually declared in a conversation the week before.
“It will probably work out to your benefit.”
Brilliant, don’t you think? I began to suspect that that would make a great life motto. As I’ve faced challenges, tremendous, obstacles and annoyances over the last few weeks, I’ve kept this phrase top of mind.
The car that is driving so slowly in front of my may be preventing me from speeding through a police officer’s radar. The item that I ordered but that was incorrect gave me a second chance to research a better option. The event that I really wanted to attend but for which I have a conflict will either be rescheduled or the conflict will turn out to have been the better option.
What my husband hit upon while attempting to make me feel better over a small disappointment is the key to abundance thinking. We can think of abundance as a belief that we always have more than we need. That is a valid place to start with this concept. In addition, though, we can extend our abundance mindset to encompass a belief that obstacles will make us stronger, constraints will make our outcomes better and that patience will build our resilience.
By assuming that the best will happen, we become more likely to think in terms of “Yes, and…” We expect that, despite the discomfort of the moment or the apparent size of the obstacle, we will have a good outcome if we persevere.
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